Sunshine from behind the clouds.

The sun is shining and that seems to make everything a little better. I've been so fed up with the miserable grey days where you can't even hang your washing out. Add that to how things have been this week and the weatherman (or woman) would have been describing me as "grey and murky with rainshowers leading onto the occasional downpour - don't forget your umbrella". Nice.

We've had a week of him hating me with a passion, the girls getting into trouble for doing nothing wrong, him wanting me dead etc, etc. Then it came to the doctor's appointment, with me having told them about how things have been, only for them to say they'd probably up his meds at the next meeting. They know his moods and temper is fluctuating, yet four weeks seems ok to run with this. Although, if needs be I know I can ring them if I really need to and an emergency appointment would appear under the veil of one of them going on holiday so they need to bring the meeting forward - in the meantime, I sit waiting for the bomb to drop, trying to be three and four steps ahead of myself to make sure that the pond remains calm knowing that even the slightest of ripples can cause the four of us reaching for our life jackets. The only person that seems unaffected by his mood swings is the Captain of the ship.

I've had a week of having to drop everything to complete his commands, which has a knock on effect on what I should be doing (being a housewife) which then has a knock on effect to keeping the pond calm - it's a vicious circle really.

The sun being out makes a bit of a difference though. I've noticed this over the past few months. I don't know if it affects his mood or if it's mine that changes when the sun is out. He's either calmer or I'm more mellow - I think it's the latter. If the sun is shining it gives everything a sunnier lilt. It makes getting up in the morning easier for me, even when I'm on my knees. It means I can get out of the house to hang out the washing, and sometimes that five/ten minute reprieve is sufficient enough to put me back on kilter.

Food can be different when the weather's nice too. It's not all heavy, warming foods which seem to weigh you down (in more ways than one lol), but the colours of veg change in this weather and your plate just looks happier too. Yesterday I gave hubby his lunch. He will eat whatever is put infront of him, whatever the amount, and if there isn't sufficient he'll sit with the empty plate outstretched infront of him waiting for you to go and fill it up. I got him a treat yesterday. A bag of "share" Yorkie buttons... Somebody might want to inform Mr. Yorkie button man that putting the "share" comment on the area that you open the bag is a complete and utter waste of time as once the bag is open it's not visible anymore, and my husband devoured them like a horse with a nosebag on. "Share" - that'd be right lol.

Sunny weather means that the girls can go out and play. Sometimes they hate being in the house. You don't see them, they're up in their rooms, they want a "break" from daddy, they know that if they can go under the radar that they will evade any shouting and ranting that might go on. Biggey commented the other morning about how horrid daddy had been to me the night before and how awful the things he said were and that "they're not true mummy". This was whilst they were in bed - so even their bedroom doesn't give them a complete break. Outside does.

I'm hoping the sun continues to shine for a while longer now - until after the summer holidays when the girls go back to school and at least get those six hours peace from home would be nice. Optomistic? Yes, but that's what happens when the sun comes out. x